NFL refs learning to flip bitcoin as league preps for global digital currency

NFL referees have called for an emergency training session this weekend. The agenda? Mastering the art of flipping bitcoin amidst growing concerns over a rapidly evolving cashless society and the daunting specter of the dollar's decline.

"We've been flipping silver dollars for decades—but bitcoin is different and a little scary," declared head referee Mike Tossman. "I mean, how do you flip something you can't even see?"

The league, on the forefront of embracing digital transformation, argues that the move toward cryptocurrency is a natural evolution. "We foresee a unified approach to currency, under league ownership. This would streamline our operations, enhance our fan data, and help us control profit margins globally," league official Gary Ledger was quoted saying. We think fans will love it."

This push towards digital currency has sparked a wide array of reactions across the sports ecosystem. Referees express concerns about the loss of tangible, time-honored rituals like the pre-game coin toss.

"It's not just about the toss," explained sideline official Jenna Robinson. "It's about what the coin represents—tradition, chance, a fair start. How do we replicate that with bitcoin? Do I ask a casino app to flip a coin? Fans will think it's fixed!"

Meanwhile, players have their own take on the situation. Star quarterback and known crypto-enthusiast, Chad "The HODLer" Jackson shared his perspective, "I ain't flippin' no bitcoin. That bitch is buy-and-hold all the way, ya feel me?"

Fans, too, are weighing in, with online forums buzzing over the proposed changes. "I miss the days when football was just football, and money was something you folded, not scrolled through," lamented a lifelong NFL supporter.